Who let the hamster onto tumblr?

tedkordisanasshole:

roxanneritchi:

OK, so, clearly: 

• Booster is a new transfer—he just moved into the area with his mom and his sis over the summer—and he talks a lot of shit about how awesome NYC was when really he was miserable the entire time his family lived there. He got into some shit with some of the guys at his school and nearly wrecked his academic record, which was never that hot anyway, and his chances at ever playing in competitive sports again (and maybe one day snagging some athletic scholarships so he could get into college and from there springboard into the NFL). He’s making a hell of an effort to turn his life around, though, and he actually kind of likes it in this new town. He plays second string JV at his new school, but he’s confident he’ll make varsity in his junior year, possibly, maybe. Booster quickly becomes fast friends with—
• Ted Kord, president of the school’s Science Club and star of the wrestling team, not that anybody at Max Lord High School cares about the wrestling team. Despite his athletic prowess, he still gets teased a lot; something about going on tirades about the misrepresentation of the scientific method in Star Trek or how Star Wars doesn’t really qualify as science fiction with its obvious dependency not on technological achievements but rather ill-defined magic doesn’t endear him to people. He has a not so secret crush on Han Solo and a definitely secret crush on Booster, who is most assuredly Not Gay. (Booster is bisexual; he hasn’t figured it out yet.) But despite his unpopularity with the in-crowd at school, Ted gets along with most people, and he’s in big demand at parties. Who else can make a beer cannon, and who else would even suggest it? Ted is also grudgingly friends with:
• Guy Gardner, first string linebacker on the school’s JV football team and second string on varsity. Guy might be kind of a jerk and few people would really call him their friend, but he considers them his friends and if you need someone to back you up in a fight, Guy’s the one to go to. His grades are perpetually on the verge of failing, but he’s making a concentrated effort to get his act together. Guy’s current life mission is to get the hell out of the state and as far away from his old man as he can get, and the best way he can see to do it is to get a full ride to an out-of-state school. Right now, he spends most of his nights crashing on an inflatable mattress at Ted’s house. Guy’s in an on-off (though as far as he’s concerned, it’s always on) sort of relationship with—
• Tora Olafsdottir, student body treasurer and academically the top student of her year. Tora is well-liked but she isn’t really popular; she’s too reserved, too shy, to deal well with that attention, which is why she doesn’t bother humoring her best friend’s constant invitations to join the cheerleading squad. Besides, she’s too busy with her work in student council, her place as second chair violin in the school’s orchestra, and growing problems at home. Her brother’s been acting weird lately and Tora butts heads with her dad a lot. Her dad wants her to stay in state for college, but Tora wants to go abroad. Since her family moved to California when she was just a baby, she’s never left the state, and for all that she looks to others like a simple, quiet girl with few big aspirations, she longs for adventure. She’s been dating Guy since the eighth grade when he asked her to the winter social and she loves him a lot, but she also suspects (and she’s right) that he wants her to marry him and come with him when he goes away to school. Tora thinks she’d like to marry Guy, but she doesn’t want to do it right away, and she definitely doesn’t want to make her life about him, but she doesn’t have anyone she can really talk to about it. Definitely not her best friend—
• Beatriz “Bea” da Costa, cheerleader, likely prom queen come junior and senior years, and party animal. Bea’s been Tora’s best friend since the third grade, and while Bea, who is sociable, flirtatious, and fun to be around, has tons of friends, there’s no one she loves half as much as she loves Tora. Unfortunately, Bea has a tendency to browbeat—she doesn’t understand that other people don’t necessarily have the same interests or want the same things she does—and she pressures Tora to join the cheerleading squad, to date people other than Guy, to be active in ways Tora doesn’t want to be active. As a result, their friendship has been strained as of late, and Bea isn’t sure how to fix things. Most people mistakenly think Bea is all beauty and no brains, but they’re dead wrong. Bea’s got an aptitude for the sciences and she’d like to go into chemistry at school but she’d like to be a model, too, and she doesn’t see why she can’t be a chemist and a model. Bea dates a lot, and she and Booster have a comfortable, noncommital thing, though sometimes Bea thinks Booster might be more serious about it than she is. Bea also thinks Booster needs to man up and realize why it is he touches Ted so much when they hang out. Bea’s also friends with—
• Karen Starr, alias Peej for reasons no one can remember, star of the women’s wrestling team, star of the women’s track and field team, and first string fullback on the JV football team. Peej is definitely not at the academic top of her class, and she definitely doesn’t care. She’s got a good shot at qualifying to compete in shotput at an international level in a year or two, and she’s pinned all her hopes on that. Loud, cheery, and more than a little amused by and at others, she’s got loads of close friends (Ted, Bea, Booster, and Tora), more than a few fans among the general student body, and a bunch of people who don’t like her (Guy, but it’s mutual, so that’s OK). Peej goes on a lot of first dates but not many second or third dates, and she’s starting to think she might be a little, well, gay.

WELCOME TO MY BRAIN! P.S.: Booster winds up accidentally confessing love to Ted at their senior prom and Ted jumps him right there much to Guy’s intense personal discomfort, Booster plays professional football for one year before blowing out his knee (but it’s okay, because Ted’s start-up company, Kord Industries, winds up taking off, and Booster figures there’s no shame in being a hot, smart guy’s kept man), Bea does become a supermodel and while she doesn’t get her degree in chemistry she never gives up her love for it (and to her own surprise, she winds up dating Norwegian fellow-supermodel Sigrid Nansen), Peej goes to the Olympics in shotput and gets a girlfriend, Tora discovers a knack for politics tho she still doesn’t like the spotlight (and she does marry Guy, but only after they both finish college), and Guy, to the surprise of everyone except for Ted, becomes a special needs teacher.

THE END!

(Source for the art, btw.)

OH MY GOD THIS IS ABSOLUTE PERFECTION PLEASE SAY THERE’S MORE